Dear Mr. Mallory: 

After having watched all of the Tour on my huge flat-screened TV/Multimedia Entertainment system (I live with my parents, in the basement; but it's my system!), I want in on the action. At 30 years old, I am already a Category 3 racer and I am really wanting to be the leader of a big time professional cycling team some day soon. I want my own lieutenants and domestiques and the pharmacists, etc. to take care of me and then I want to win the Tour and have them beauties kissing on me! Please advise.
 
Fired up to be "Da Man",
Chippy McNeish Jr.

Dear Chippy:
 
My friends all call me, George, so please continue to only refer to me as Mr. (or preferably Sir) Mallory. Given your last name, I assume you are a part of that roustabout, Henry "Chippy" McNeish's progenies. Shackleton remembers him as a "simple man" that needed constant supervision with many corrections. Indeed, I once was forced to strike Chippy (with me open hand) to garner his immediate attention and to bolster his flawed constitution. Chippy was a delusional fellow and from your correspondence I can ascertain that the adage "the fruit does not fall far from the tree" applies here. Several things: 1. Quit the road racing game as it is played solely by dandies, coxcombs, and malcontents. 2. I have lead men and I call several leaders of men, "friend." You, Sir, are not a leader, nor shall you ever be a leader.
 
Just the other evening as we enjoyed a few brandies by the hearth, my dear friends Shackleton, Mawson, and Tȟašúŋke Witkó (aka Crazy Horse) discussed the inherent qualities of a Leader of Men. One vital trait of such a leader is to know thy men, but to also make sure that the men know and accept the ideology of the leader. Shackleton conveyed the following anecdote…
 
"Recently I was leading a DBD training ride with several potentially quality underlings that also were known to be easily distracted. As a ruse to see if the men were focused and on topic, I let it be known that I was thinking of obtaining a modern road-racing bicycle. As if on cue, both reminded me that in the past, I had always scorned such a contraption as folly. Thus confirming that the men were ready to progress further along in their training." 
 
In short, Leadership is not in the cards for you. Change your name and strive to be a Man. Good luck, for with your background the odds do not play in your favor.
 
Pithily,
Sir Mallory